sirs - see the following
Fr Lange Memorial 70lb Dumbbells Press Contest, Redux
Held in Conjunction with the Blue Gold Game/Fr Lange Dedication April 2010
Official Rules of Engagement (Endorsed by unanimous vote of FLAB Athletic Committee)
Weigh-in (waived due to unavailability of grain elevator scales required to measure durso's bulk).
Start Time: five minutes after we all decide to give it hell one time.
Entries close: see immediately above.
Equipment: Fr Lange's Jackson Barbell Co. cast iron 70lb dumbbells, restored to their original kelly green.
Lift: dumbbells to be cleaned simultaneously from the ground to the shoulder in one move; press either together or alternate. Total number of presses of both dumbbells wins. If alternate style is used, the count will be "one, one, two, two" whereas "two, one" is counted only as one rep. Jerking, although increasingly socially acceptable in these liberal times, is not permitted. 200 reps with a rubber expander does not qualify either.
Handicap: any lifter with torn rotator cuffs, ruptured biceps, ripped left quad, four horses, a swimming hole in the South Harpeth River and scraggly grey beard will automatically be spotted one extra rep and a free glass of scotch.
Protests: reviewed by the FLAB Athletic Committee and ruled expeditiously, on site. No waiting.
Early favorite: Dalton (the little sob has been working out! imagine that!)
Requirements for membership in the FLAB Athletic Committee: torn rotator cuffs, ruptured biceps and ripped left quad, four horses, a swimming hole and a scraggly grey beard.
These rules are being promulgated early to obviate any misunderstandings, misapprehensions or charges of right wing bigotry.